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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]10:14 - I really like you.

OP, I'm in your position.  It is harder to meet guys when you have a child, and at some point you'll just have to accept that.  Many of my single mom friends are dating or have remarried, but many are in the same boat.  Not to depress you, just to say that you're not in this alone.  And yes, some of your friends got lucky and were in the right place at the right time, and some do probably have lower standards than you do, or found a guy you would have overlooked because he wasn't your type.

Hang in there.  Do some more online dating - a lot of my friends have had success with this.  Keep an open mind and don't narrow your pool too much with unrealistic expectations.  (he must be 6'2"+.  He must have a full head of hair.  He must be ivy-educated.  etc.)  I've dated a couple of single/divorced dads and I've dated a few single, child-free guys, and it just really depends on the guy whether it will work out or not.

but yeah, a lot of guys will just assume that if you have a very young child, you are spoken for. it's because a lot of people stay together when the kids are young and don't split until they're older, so in a guy's mind, the mother of a young kid is unavailable.  You may also be putting out a "taken" vibe - a friend of mine told me he just assumed for the first couple years that he knew me that I was married, because I seemed so together and not putting out a wanting-to-date vibe.  (and he liked that so much that when he did find out I was single, he tried to fix me up with his friend.)  :-)[/quote]

10:14 here.

Exactly this. I am friends with a group of single moms and I am actually the only one who is remarried. I'm remarried to someone I was friends with when I was married. He was surprised we were getting divorced because he always thought we were really happy (apparently a lot of people thought that). I don't have a lot to suggest in the way of dating advice, but what I will say is that one of the things that has been very valuable to me is figuring out how to build a relationship with DH that is separate from my daughter. Her dad and I share custody, so on the nights she's with him, DH and I have very much enjoyed dating each other - even now that we're married. The other single moms in the group I hang out with are pretty much exclusively focused on their children. They don't really talk about anything other than their kids (and sometimes their jobs). I think they're wonderful women and moms, but I wouldn't want to date them.

There is a balance between being a person who identifies solely as a single mom and a person who remains an independent person even while having a child that you love and dote on. For most men, including the one I'm married to, they want to know you as a person before getting integrated into the broader fabric of your life. DH and I spent a lot of time getting to know each other (better) before DD became a part of our relationship, even though as someone I was already friends with, he'd actually known her since birth.[/quote]

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