Reply to Has a male boss ever told you to be "nicer"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you reflexively scream sexism at every opportunity? I have told many a male and female underling to be nicer, work better together, get a attitude adjustment, etc. This isn't a gender thing necessarily.[/quote]

Um, nope.  Without going into all the details here, my example involved sending a matter-of-factly email staff person who had shared private info outside of the company -- a big deal b/c we are publicly traded and are involved in a transaction.  (Yes, I am the compliance officer, so it is my job to watch out for these issues.)

My email was straight-forward and said, basically, this type of thing can not happen again and here's why.  The boss told me I should consider being nicer because this wasn't received well.  I then asked the boss if he had read the email b/c I didn't think there was anything out of the ordinary about it. He told me he hadn't read it, but that the employee was upset.  I told him the employee was probably upset because he realized that he exposed the company to a serious issue (not because I was "mean" to him).  I sent my boss the email, and, upon reading it, he acknowledged that it wasn't bad…but that I should still consider trying to be nicer in because that employee was upset!

Flash to the next day.  In a meeting with that same boss and some other male execs.  One of the execs starts screaming at the top of his lungs, shouting to a staff person that "you really f-cked that up" and threw a plastic cup of water at the wall.  There was no admonition to that exec about being nicer.

I know its easy to assume the woman in these cases is really the mean bitch, but honestly, that wasn't the case here.  So, I was wondering how others have dealt with it.[/quote]

Wow! Would never have used email for this--would have spoken to employee in person.

Also, depending on your relationship with your boss, I would have asked him if he every had asked cup throwing exec to tone it down.  I also would have considered the judicious walk out, which, when reserved for very bad behavior, can be every effective.[/quote]

So gsing you missed the whole publically traded, transaction, complaince part. Her job is to protect the company and then her ass. She had to document the admonishment in writing. [/quote]

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