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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Funny to see this thread that I started a really long time ago.  I am a SAHM for a year now and feel that I am pretty good at it.  I enjoy spending all day with my child and I enjoy the homemaking aspect too.  I was feeling lonely so I started a mom's group that has become very successful and provides a way for me and my child to do fun activities and meet new people, so running my mom's group takes up a fair amount of time and makes me feel like I am using some of my work-related skills.

Overall I feel like I am much more successful at being a SAHM and taking care of the house than I ever was at any of my jobs.  I get a lot of satisfaction from managing the home, cleaning and doing laundry.  I also enjoy the lower stress level of being at home rather than working.  I often think back to my micromanaging boss and how belitted I would feel after our weekly meetings.  I left the job on good terms, resigned with more than 2 weeks notice, etc., but because I was getting mediocre performance reviews towards the end of the job, I don't think I would get a positive reference from it, and that really makes me feel sad.  If I were to decide to work again I would probably start out doing some kind of professional volunteering, in order to get a positive recent reference.

I feel really sad about the social aspect of the job too.  Before I left I sent out an email to all my colleagues with my contact info and said I'd love to keep in touch.  Not a single person has emailed me, which I feel really bummed about.  My husband, who has been at his job for 6 years, says that if he resigned and sent colleagues his contact info that no one would email him either.

Regarding the possible ADHD and low energy, I don't find that they are issues being a SAHM because I can nap when my child naps if I am tired, so that really helps with the low energy issue.  The ADHD has not been an issue being a SAHM, probably because I'm not juggling 5 different projects with a million tiny details at once.

Even though I like being a SAHM, everything isn't perfect.  I really struggle on a daily basis with the fact that I no longer have a professional identity and that I did enjoy many aspects of my work.  I miss some aspects of working--such as the aspect of helping people and feeling a part of an organization, and feeling like I was learning new skills and adding to my resume.

I also feel very judged by working moms when I meet them at various mom-related events and activities--I often get the comment from them "I went back to work as soon as I could--I could never do what you do all day."  It makes me feel like they feel I have nothing to contribute to society and that they don't want to get to know me because they assume I am "boring."

I also have gotten comments from family members (like my parents) about my 2 grad degrees that are gathering dust right now.  Overall, I think my self-confidence has diminshed after deciding to be a SAHM.  On the other hand, my social life has really blossomed since becoming a SAHM, and that is really important to me.

Overall when I think back to my last job, and past jobs, I was probably working at a C + or B - level if I had to grade myself.  I wish I had been able to do better, but the low energy and feeling overwhelmed really impacted my ability to do better work.[/quote]

NP here. Your original post really rang true with me. I've had jobs where I feel like I'm pretty much all alone on the moon, where all of my coworkers are introverts or I'm working in a more isolated area of the office or in a few cases, I'm a contractor and not really on the team. I put in a lot of effort but the positions aren't even positions where one can really shine/stand out. I've felt like a cog in a big wheel, but in the end, that's the nature of the work I signed up for and the job is a means to an end. Money=new stuff for DS and vacations and a down payment on a house eventually.

I recently became a SAHM who teleworks part time and although I'm, in a way, in the same lonely position, sitting at home working at a boring job with no one to talk to, I remind myself that I'm in a new stage of my life with little DS taking a nap nearby. DS is now #1 and my quest for self-fulfillment or whatever at work is off to the side. And that's ok. I wanted my kid more than I wanted an awesome job at the point DH and I decided to have kids, and again, that's ok. I'm so tired of the idea that women of a certain education/economic level have to be multi-tasking rock stars who save the world while breastfeeding.

That said, that's awful that people comment on your degrees being "wasted." Tell them to fk off unless they want to provide awesome free childcare to you so you can be a super terrific working rock star. I think people like to inflate their importance. I've had women tell me "I could never do what you do all day," staying home with DS. What nerve. My guess is their jobs aren't so amazing, either. When someone says that to me I consider exactly what they DO. They're not National Geographic explorers or ER doctors. Most are sitting in a cube for 8 hours not getting sunlight and frankly, I'd rather be home than doing what they do. 
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