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[quote=Anonymous]OP,

I'm sorry that you're going through this.  I can totally relate as my younger brother is the screwed up one in our family.  He's 35 now, and he'll never change.  Fortunately, he doesn't have any kids, but he's definitely a huge burden.  My mom, when she was alive, tried to do everything for him, and he ended up a huge, spoiled mess.  As his screw ups became greater and greater, my parents tried to make my older brother (mostly) and me feel as if we were bad people b/c we weren't willing to sacrifice ourselves for him.

The greatest problem is that people like this will always try to take the easy way out.  They don't ever want to suffer and work for something.  I warned him years ago that my dad and brother couldn't help him out indefinitely b/c none of us have infinite resources, but he didn't want to hear what I was saying.  I told him that my husband and I would let him live w/ us (rent free) and help him learn how to manage his finances etc. if he proved that he could be responsible first (i.e., hold down a job) but he lied to us and proved incapable of doing so.  After years of seeing this train wreck happen again and again, i finally cut him out of my life.  it was much too painful to see it happening and not being able to do anything.

I'm really sorry that your mother has chosen to take this out on you by laying it at your feet.  You are not your brother's keeper.  He is old enough to stand on his own feet, and as hard as it may be you can't take him in.  Nothing good will come of it.  I'm just really sorry for his kids.[/quote]

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