Reply to Need your honest take on this situation with my sister in law

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[quote=Anonymous]I think she is being weird and stingy but I am trying really hard to see it from her point of view.

I feel like it's possible you have gone on trips together before and she feels that $500 is too much to spend on a room, so she tried to tell you her budget up front.  You would not be having this problem, probably, if you had stayed at an econolodge for $250/night for 4 nights and split the bill down the middle.  While it is true that she benefitted from staying at a 5 star hotel just like you did, she told you up front, by telling you her budget, that the 5 star thing wasn't important to her.  It was only important to you.  (The fact that they have 2 homes and 3 cars might be playing into this -- they might have a bunch of debt and her budget for HERSELF, as opposed to a family vacation or her children -- might be comparatively small.  Like mine is.  In our house we might spend $5000 on a family vacation, but I would have a hard time justifying $1000 in hotel expenses just for myself.)

With that being said, I don't think it's right for her to just pay $300, unless the incident that the hotel comped you two for inconvenienced her a great deal.  I can sort of understand her deducting 1 day's hotel from her share, since you were supposed to stay 4 nights and only stayed 3, and she had a daily hotel budget and she told you upfront her 4 night budget was $500.  If it was $500 for 4 nights and you only stayed 3, I can understand her taking out 1 night, because she doesn't care about the quality of hotel and she didn't get the benefit of that one extra night.

However, if she truly doesn't care about the quality of the hotel, she shouldn't get to benefit from the 1 night that was comped to you both, unless she was really inconvenienced by what caused the comping, like kept up all night or had no air conditioning or was inadvertently set on fire, etc.  If the quality of the hotel doesn't matter to her then the benefit of the comping should run entirely to you.  Under her own calculations, that should bring her up to something closer to $400 than $300.

Like I said, I wouldn't do what she's doing to you, but it could be that she has a tighter budget FOR HERSELF than you do, and that is causing her to act this way.  However, if she is dropping $500 regularly on purchases or solo vacations for herself, I don't know what to say or how to try to justify her behavior besides selfishness and stinginess.  Good luck![/quote]

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