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[quote=Anonymous][quote]While the PP could have said more tactfully or expanded a bit, she has a point. Getting the OP's mother a social worker will allow her to have access to programs at reduced cost or even free. We all pay taxes for services for people like the Op's mom, she should take advantage of what it available. It does not mean the mom has to move out- but it may mean the there are resources out there for the OP to tap- sop she and her DH are not hit with the financial load as well as the emotional load.

Thank you. We already have a social worker who has been helping us. There are very few resources for Alzheimer's and Dementia sufferers. And then there are the horrors - the state run facilities where these once vibrant and self-sufficient people walk around in soiled pants or are so drugged up they don't move which would be my mother's only option if not for us at this point. There is nothing like Alzheimer's Daycare or respite care in our state for Alzheimer's sufferers. Believe me, we are "tapping" every resource known to man at this point. We have also gotten help for the Alzheimer's Association. The programs and assistance you are talking about do not exist. [/quote]

We went through something similar with my FIL and my mother is struggling with it now with my grandmother.  I'm glad to hear you're working with an elder care attorney, that makes a big difference.  There will come a point that you can't care for your mother in your house.  One way to get her into a nursing home that takes Medicaid is to wait until she has to go to the hospital for some reason (stroke, fall, pneumonia, etc.) and then arrange to have her discharged to a nursing home.  Your eldercare attorney should be able to assist but it helps have all your ducks in a row before she goes to the hospital.

Also, in my mom's home state, it's routine for Medicaid to reject your first application for Medicaid.  My mom's eldercare attorney warned her of this.  When the state rejected my 103 year old grandmother's request for Medicaid, I wrote a letter on behalf of my mother to her state representative (Medicaid is a state run program so you need to contact your state rep).  That really smoothed the agency's second review of the application.  Best of luck.[/quote]

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