Reply to What to say when the truth will hurt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with everyone.  He knows why but he's denying it because no one has ever presented it to him as a negative thing.  Apparently in everyone's quest to not hurt his feelings, it has actually created a bit of a slacker.  I agree that you need to lead in by asking him questions to break the ice but it's perfectly okay to say "I love you more than anything and I want to see you happy.  I'm not saying any of this to hurt you, but rather to help you present yourself in the best way possible."  I'm sure there are women out there who would love to be able to continue their career while knowing another parent is caring for children.  However it is a carefully crafted situation.  [b]Before getting to SAHD, he needs to shape an independent life for himself that shows the maturity all women are looking for in a husband.  [/b]

He also should be making long term plans for his own good, not just to win a potential spouse!![/quote]

This. It's great that his goal is to be a SAHD. There are women who would want that. However, his chronic laziness and underemployment says "mooch," not "caregiver."  He needs to create a career with goals for himself that will lend itself to being a SAHD. Being a SAH parent can be a choice, not a default.  First he has to attract the women...[/quote]

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