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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have to say that you do sound dug in.  How are your parents going to be feeding the baby the two days/week they'll be watching him?  I can't imagine your mother is going to be breastfeeding him.  Why do your parents get to spend so much time with the baby but your ILs don't?  Yes, it's your baby but it's their DS's child.  It seems you're excluding them but other than some 'outdated ideas', I don't see any compelling reason to limit their contact.[/quote]

OP here- my parents don't spend more time with him.  They have never babysat for him since he was born either.  They haven't asked or pressured me about it repeatedly, unlike my in-laws.  They are watching him twice a week when I go back to work because they are retired and are in a position to do so.  My in laws are not retired and never offered.  We are paying for day care the other three days a week. Having my pArents watch him is saving us a lot of money so there is no way we are turning that down!![/quote]

You didn't answer the question about how your parents are going to be feeding the baby when you go back to work. In your OP, feeding the baby (since you are BFing and are anti-bottle) was a major reason why you couldn't leave the baby with your ILs.  If your mother isn't BFing in your place, that hurdle must be going away when you go back to work.

You say your ILs' desire to spend more time with the baby may stem from the fact your parents will be watching him 2 days a week, yet you say your parents don't spend more time with him than they do.  How can that be?  Will your ILs be spending weekends with you?  You also seem angry that they've never 'offered' to provide free daycare.  Would you accept it if they did offer?  I doubt it given your resentment - and I'm sure they pick up on it as well which is why they're probably pushing you to have some time with your DH.  Perhaps it would improve your mood and increase the quality of the limited time you allow them with the baby.

You're willing to send your precious baby to daycare but not willing to allow your ILs' to take care of the baby - for what appears to be no other reason than you're annoyed with them.  Maybe it's your adjusting hormones but you sound like a real bitch.

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NP here.  Wow, that was SO unnecessarily harsh.  [b]OP says her parents don't spend more time with the baby because they don't - she's still home on maternity leave.  Nobody "babysits" the baby now - OP is content to spend as much time as possible with the baby, and it's important to her to establish a breastfeeding supply before she heads back to work.   She's not excluding anyone and not showing preferential treatment to anyone.[/b]

[b]Once her parents do start watching the baby, yes, they will be spending more time with baby, but that is not OP's responsibility to compensate on weekends or evenings, because she'll want to spend time with her baby then.  I get the sense that if IL's were retired and also offered to watch the baby on weekdays, she'd be open to that, but she has no obligation to provide compensatory babysitting time.
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Of course the baby will be taking a bottle when the baby is in day care, but that time is not now.  There is no need to offer anything more than the occasional bottle, and that is what OP is doing. [b] She shouldn't reduce breastfeeding time just to cater to IL's[/b].

OP, I feel for what you're going through.  My MIL is deeply resentful that I didn't want her to "babysit" during my maternity leave -- I had no desire whatsoever to be apart from the baby during the precious few weeks I had with him before I had to go to work.  Moreover, he's one year old now, and [b]neither DH nor I are eager to be away from him.  We spend 50+ hours a week of wake time away from him.  His childhood is zooming by.  We're not going to manufacture reasons to be away from him to suit my MIL's needs.
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[b]That said, I often invite her over here and I am very comfortable with her spending time with him while I do things around the house or even take a blessed nap.  But he's not going to be doing overnights with her and we're not going to give up whole weekend days with him just because she wants to be alone with him.   I get it.[/b][/quote]

+1000[/quote]

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