Reply to Getting seperated...what is fair?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Getting seperated...what is fair?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I know everyone here is telling you to go for the jugular and get a lawyer. You said you were trying to do everything on your own and he seems like he is trying to get out as fast as possible by making what seems like good offers.

You should still consult with an attorney, but if you and he are on terms where you can work it out I would still try it that way. Tell him that anything you agree to you will have an attorney review before it is approved. There are A LOT of details that go into a divorce agreement/custody agreement.

He is right that joint custody is the standard, but educate yourself on what that means. It means one person is the primary custodial parent (kids live with the majority of the time), one is the non custodial parent (has visitation) and both parents have joint legal decision making powers for the children.

If you want a portion of the retirement, also be prepared to take on a portion of the debt. Depending on how much the debt is and how much of the retirement you could get,  not touching the retirement and getting out debt free might be better, but only an attorney could help you with that.

As far as the house, don't move out until everything is done and support is established. Make sure that the amount you agree to is legal, and make sure you establish who will pay for what including school, college, vacations, etc...[/quote]

OP, I am writing from the perspective of a man who is also going through a divorce.  I am the one who decided to divorce my DW.  No need to go into the reasons why, just that in the end I felt it necessary for my my health and the health of my children.  If you and your husband can work out the framework of an agreement, you should still both have it reviewed by a lawyer who can advise you on what is fair under the laws of your state.  Get your DH's credit report, copies of his retirement statements, etc.  Also, what does your DH do for a living?  If he has a pension in addition to a 401(K), you will also have certain rights to that as well, not 50/50 but a formula based on the length of the marriage and the pension calcuation.  Do not get caught up in emotions, no matter what?  I, unfortunately, was not able to get an amicable divorce, and the better you and your DH can work things out without it getting nasty, the better it is for your kids.  Good luck! [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics