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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP - You  have made every excuse for staying in the marriage, but have you ever had put on "Your Big Boy Pants" to say that you both needed couples' or marriage counseling and that the appointment was made and you honestly hoped she would be willing to go to?  We are hearing one side of one specific issue, but as you indicate there are other things going on, too.

It is time for MIL to be out of your house in terms of all things unless invited over for a family event as there is now no excuse for her presence as children are older.  If your wife does not really want to do the house work or laundry, then you two can sit down and make a list of  how to divide the chores - including the children now OR you can hire a cleaning service to do the major jobs once or twice a month.   And it is "You" who need to tell your MIL the change and why that you and DW need to work on your marriage and her continuing "over presence" is one issue - though honesty not the only issue.

From what you have said, DW is from a different ethnic or cultural background so if there are things in her background which bother you, including submissiveness to MIL or putting her first as "family" rather than you and the children, this needs to be shared in therapy.  It is important that you, too, own up to  your share in the marriage that is not as you want it to be - maybe a bit too passive/aggressive or complaining, but never acting on it.  Counseling seems to be the one positive way to move forward whether you stayed married or divorce.[/quote]

Voice of reason, right here.[/quote]

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