Reply to Thangsgiving conflict - is MIL inreasonable or am I?

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[quote=Anonymous]You are being so totally reasonable here it's actually almost funny that this is even a question.  I feel like we often see these "in-laws are making demands questions" but when you read the post the poster is also offering no choices and the fault lies on both sides.  In your case, I am actually mystified as to which part your MIL has a problem with?  Didn't she have kids once?  And doesn't she have other grandchildren?  In what universe does she think it's reasonable to expect you to show up at her house for thanksgiving three weeks after a baby arrives?

Anyway, rest assured, you are right and your DH is wonderful for seeing that and taking your side.  I would just disengage and let DH take over the conversation which should go something like "mom, we just can't tell right now what things will be like after the baby comes.  Once baby is here then we can evaluate what makes sense."  You have generously invited MIL and family down and you can keep that option open if you feel you can manage it (making clear all food will be ordered, eaten off paper plates, and everyone will be pitching in to help), but otherwise I would just wait to see whether it makes sense to 1) go there if say the baby comes super early, delivery is uncomplicated, and you maybe actually just want to get away and have relatives and cousins entertain DD for a while, 2) you send DH  and DD if DD has a hard time with the adjustment and you maybe want or need the bonding time with baby, or 3) you have a quiet ordered in  thanksgiving just the four of you, on paper plates, with no clean up, and you see the extended fam at Christmas.  You'd be totally right making any of those choices.[/quote]

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