Reply to Friend hurt my feelings....am I bring overly sensitive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi its OP here....OK first things first, to ME telling someone they look tired is rude. I always feel if you don't have something nice, positive or uplifting to say then dont' say it. It is rude because simply it implies the person does not look good. The irony here is that I was more decked out than usual and just to make my point a few people at this function actually went out of their way to tell me how good i looked so to hear that kind of threw me.

The lunch- these two are not friends, they are each my friend and know each other through me. I personally would not reach out to a friends friend and seek out a get together without including my mutual friend but that might just be me. I think its rude, wouldn't have given it a second thought if they were friends too but the only way they know each other is through me.

I am not claiming to not be sensitive, and own that but do not consider myself one to overreact.[/quote]

NP here.  This is a case of glass half-full or glass half-empty.  You can take "You look tired" as genuine concern for your well-being, as in "You look more tired than usual, is anything wrong?  Is there anything I can do to help?" or as "You look crappy today, what's wrong with you?"

We frequently ask when someone has problems if anyone around them noticed that they were having issues and lament that no one called attention to it or reached out to them when they needed help. e.g. no one reached out in concern before someone snaps, commits suicide, hurts themselves or someone around them, or does something drastic.  This pessimistic attitude of comments like the above contributes to why fewer people reach out to others in concern, because too many people take offense when someone expresses concern.

As for the lunch, once you introduce two people, even if they are acquainted through you, they are friends and can try to build up their friendship.  It isn't rude for them to meet privately unless the exclusively meet privately and never include you.  But frankly, I think the other way around it's rude of you to impose "ownership" on them and to try to control them.  Friends shouldn't do this.  I'm quite happy when I introduce friends if they hit it off.  I have a busy enough life and lots of friends that I don't need to control their every interaction.

I agree that it sounds as if you have a pessimistic attitude in general and that you made the friend feel self-conscious, or as others have described it, she had to walk on eggshells around you because of your reaction.  
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