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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel your pain, OP.  DH has acted this way with me in the past, particularly if he's tired or if he thinks I'm screwing up something with the kids (God forbid he take control himself).  And if I had even an inkling that he was capable of what I've seen from him post-having kids, I would never have married him.

It all came to a head the day before Valentine's day.  Baby started crying at night, which woke DH up.  I was brushing my teeth (the nerve!), and instead of picking up baby, he starts following me in the house, screaming at the top of his lungs in my face for well over half an hour about what a huge screw up I am.

Basically, that was the last straw.  He had a family get together that we were supposed to spend the weekend with his family, and I refused to go.  I made it very clear that if this is what our marriage was going to be, I would rather be divorced.  I had been taking so much abusive behavior from this man and I realized it was unacceptable (it took me so long to even realize that this was abuse, not just being "grumpy" or "tired").  It's been a few weeks since he got back and he hasn't retreated to his old pattern (yet).  Sometimes you get into this routine where DH thinks treating you like garbage is ok, and standing up for yourself helps.[/quote]

OP here....thanks. He actually says that he's the one who is mistreated and demands an apology all the time. I'm so tired of living like this. I need to weigh my options. [/quote]

Of course he does!  And what's amazing is that he probably BELIEVES he's some sort of outstanding specimen of manhood who married someone sooo ungrateful and unappreciative.

Time to start setting some boundaries, and call him out when he is being abusive!!  Something I find snaps DH out of it is I tell him "Do you think that when I married you I imagined that you'd ever treat me this way?  Do you think this is what I was hoping for in my life?"  Or I just flat out tell him "You're talking to me in a cruel, abusive manner.  It looks like you probably don't want to be married much longer.  I hope you enjoy being a bachelor again!"  Somehow for my particular asshole DH, this sort of brings him back to reality, not the alternative universe where he is a put-upon hero/victim.  YMMV.[/quote]

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