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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And what if your dad said "I haven't witnessed any accidents, hit and run or otherwise."? How would your DH keep up the ruse then?[/quote]

Our "plan" was for husband to go to bio-father's office, identify himself as a Blank City Detective and ask to speak with him privately.  Once alone, he would tell bio-father who he was and what he wanted - hand my bio-father the medical questionnaire our doctor gave us - and them tell bio-father he could tell his co-workers, secretary, etc. that this Blank City Detective wanted to talk to him about seeing a hit and run or witnessing some other auto accident.

It isn't a ruse - it's just a way to give bio-father a way to cover my husband's visit!

I really explained this badly - I'm sorry!   [/quote]

That's not at all how you explained it initially. In addition, if he has a wife he may not want to speak privately. Then what? This is just an all-around poor idea. Very childish that you would send someone to ask on your behalf.[/quote]

Chances are bio-father's wife doesn't work in his business office.

[b]And so what if I am being childish?!  I want the information without having any contact with the man who knocked up my mother and never lifted one finger to help her!!!  Her entire life from the age on 19 on was to work (she had to quite college - he didn't) and work hard and take care of me.  My mother gave me a wonderful life but she never had one.  [/b][/quote]

Lots of women didn't quit college entirely when they had a baby. Your mom could have taken time off, then returned, if only part-time until she finished her degree.
Why didn't your mom file for CS? 
And why did she raise you to believe that your birth and rearing caused her to not have a wonderful life?

[/quote]

I'm not interested in explaining my mother's motives or situation to you.  [b]I SAW that my mother had a very hard life[/b], she never complained - not once.  [/quote]

She should have worked hard to conceal her martyrdom and depression. A child shouldn't know that their single parent is having a very hard life. When my grandmother was widowed in the 1950s, she ate one meal a day and told her kids that she was dieting when they asked why she didn't eat breakfast or lunch (kids came home for lunch in those days). My mother and her siblings were pretty far into adulthood before an uncle explained that his sister gave up her other two meals so that the kids had enough to eat.[/quote]

STFU  You have no clue what our lives were like.  And when you don;t know something, it's generally better to keep your uninformed opinions to yourself.  [/quote]

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