Reply to My MIL is just awful to be with, but DH wants her to be part of our family life

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Reply to "My MIL is just awful to be with, but DH wants her to be part of our family life"

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[quote=Anonymous]

While I can sympathize with OP as one of our daughter's has a MIL from hell who is negative not only about her DIL but about her own Son, too.  However, she and FIL do love their granddaughters and can and should be involved in their lives.  It is probably best for you not to have one-on-one encounters alone with her out in public if you find her behavior offensive, but I also think that "isolating" her from her grandchildren is mean, too, and possibly shows your personality.   Obviously at this point in life, you haave a much fuller life than she and perhaps can give a bit more.   It is quite appropriate  to have an honest conversation with DH about what behavior from MIL bothers you and specifically what you do not want her to be doing in front of grandchildren.

There are limits on MIL's behavior that I have talked to my daughter about - [b]but in clear terms of both sets of grandparents -[/b] that there need to be their house rules on say:

- Respecting both husband and wife in front of grandchildren in all settings all the time.
- Not being disrespectful to either DIL or Son especially in their own home.
- Following rules that you as parents have set for your children in your home when visiting regarding meal time manners, watching tv or other face time media items, household chores, bed time routines etc.  By this I mean that grandparents should not undercut what the parents set as rules - and especially not in front of grandchildren.

There are things with both of our daughters and SILs that we may not agree with entirely, but we also recognize we only visit on a short-term basis,and it is not our family.  We had out chance to do it right or wrong.

[b]****I gotta say this thread is hilarious to read when I see MIL is very old at 72 and shouldn't be driving and won't be around all that long.  Ladies I hate to tell you but 60s and easily until very late 70s are now the prime of life for retirees.  Unless her family has a short lifeline, I would not anticipate MILs soon demise.

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