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[quote=Anonymous]
Hold your horses. Is this the first slight towards DC2?
If it is...

Before going ballistic on your SIL, you have to educate her. 
You have to make time before the next party to talk to her, preferably with your husband, preferably in person.

This is very important. You both look her in the eyes, and you explain how and why her comment was so hurtful. That she should never say something like this ever again. That she can think whatever she likes, but not say it aloud. That hopefully she will think twice about relaying the same message to her own children, since you want the cousins to respect each other.

People make the most incredible comments about adoption all the time. My best friend with an adopted daughter from China has received mind-boggling remarks, and her daughter has been told at school that she is ugly because she's not white, and that her mother can't really be her mother. Not something you'd expect from elementary schoolers in the Washington DC area, right?

So... educate. And if that doesn't work, then limit contact.
Don't expect her to change her mind, even though she might, particularly as she becomes attached to DC2 as he grows up! But do demand respect at all times.

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