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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What to do really depends on (1) do they have actual needs that are going unmet - ie, shelter, food, medical care? Or are they wants? (2) Are your relatives asking for help?

If they're not asking and they aren't homeless or going hungry, then I can see this not going over well. If they need housing, you can arrange to pay whatever portion you're willing to of their rent to the landlord. If they need food, you can have groceries delivered (my dad did this so his nieces & nephew wouldn't go hungry). If they need medical care and the kids don't qualify for medicaid, you can buy the family a simple plan through the new health exchanges - those are surprisingly affordable.

If they want other stuff and are asking, obviously if you say yes once it means you'll be perceived as the family bank going forward - and "loans" aren't actually going to get repaid. I don't have the stomach to play that role, my DH is more patient with it but I had to put in place a rule that we don't issue "loans" without both our approval, since our finances are joint. With the ILs knowing that I'll be involved, they're less inclined to ask and more likely to actually pay back. [/quote]

NP here.  Your guidelines are helpful and I will use them with my relatives. [/quote]

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