Reply to Your poor relatives

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Your poor relatives"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What to do really depends on (1) do they have actual needs that are going unmet - ie, shelter, food, medical care? Or are they wants? (2) Are your relatives asking for help?

If they're not asking and they aren't homeless or going hungry, then I can see this not going over well. If they need housing, you can arrange to pay whatever portion you're willing to of their rent to the landlord. If they need food, you can have groceries delivered (my dad did this so his nieces & nephew wouldn't go hungry). If they need medical care and the kids don't qualify for medicaid, you can buy the family a simple plan through the new health exchanges - those are surprisingly affordable.

If they want other stuff and are asking, obviously if you say yes once it means you'll be perceived as the family bank going forward - and "loans" aren't actually going to get repaid. I don't have the stomach to play that[vimeo] role, my DH is more patient with it but I had to put in place a rule that we don't issue "loans" without both our approval, since our finances are joint. With the ILs knowing that I'll be involved, they're less inclined to ask and more likely to actually pay back. [/quote]

Unfortunately, money is fungible.  Its hard to say no to needs, ie send money for food for the children, or even deliver groceries.  But it is annoying because you know they dont have money for needs, because they spent their money on wants a week ago.  So even though, technically you are giving them money for necessities, the result is enabling them to get their wants.[/quote]

That's why I didn't suggest sending money. If you feel sending groceries is the same as sending a check, then you shouldn't send anything since you'll resent it either way.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics