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[quote=Anonymous]A few thoughts:
1) I would have flipped out and said some very unkind things to someone who waltzed into my house without explicit permission to be there.  Not okay.

2) DH needs to put a stop to the passive-agressive avoidance of you.  Your refusal to allow them to be rude does not make you a scary monster they get to avoid.  That should sound like this:
"Mom/Dad, I am not home right now, so I have no way to confirm that it is a good time for you to visit.  If you want to see the baby on a weekday before X, you need to talk to DW.  You have her number.  If she doesn't respond to a text, feel free to call.  If she doesn't respond to a call, then she is likely busy with the baby or trying to rest, both of which mean that it is NOT a good time."  If they continue to ask him for permission to visit you, he should simply reply, "You know who you need to ask about this and it's not me."

3) In the interest of peace, you should reach out to them and say that you are sorry if you were abrupt, but dropping by unannounced does not work for you and will never result in a satisfying visit--then launch into how much you want them to see the baby at a time that worka for all of you and do your best to get at least a weekly visit scheduled.  And remind them that if they want to see the baby on other days that you will do your best to respond to calls and texts promptly, but of course if you do not respond it means that it's not a good time.

4) I know you probably crave the chance to hang with another mom, but if that is the only time that works for them, you should really try to prioritze family over your friend.  Maybe every other week you see the friend if you really, truly cannot reschedule her to a different day?[/quote]

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