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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here I should add that she gets all hurt if I don't have something thoughtful.[/quote]

OMG OP do you hear yourself?  Snap out of it!

The game your mom is playing is "You haven't figured out the right gift for me; if you loved me enough you would have got it right.  Bad daughter; you owe me!"

It's not true; it's about power.  You could get her the perfect thing but she won't tell you that, because the GAME is to say it's not right.  That keeps her with the power over you.  And you are buying into it, and the more you try, the more you reinforce your mom to play that game.

So the point the other PPs are making is, since nothing will be good enough, to stop playing the game and just get her something without doing a whole mental dance to figure out what she might like.

Free yourself from the game.  Get her the white orchid and the card, and expect that she will complain about it.  It will be the hardest the first year.  Next year, give her the pink orchid and a card.  Receive her complaint.  Third year, give her the yellow orchid with the card.  Receive her complaint.  This is still an annoying cycle, but certainly not as stressful as the one you are in.  Remember, you can't change your mom, not with the perfect gift, and not with any color orchid.  You will always give the gift, and she will always give the complaint.[/quote]

This.  This poster has it exactly right. [/quote]

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