Reply to More Attractive: Asshole Jock or Respectful Chess Nerd?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] The healthy women date the self-centered, power-hungry, appearance-obsessed guys in their teens or 20s and guess what?  They make shitty boyfriends.  Why is that rocket science? [/quote]

What always confused me is, why date those guys in the first place? It was never rocket science. Most of those guys had been dicks since the 5th grade.

Now, at least I got a clue as to why the girls weren't dating me back then. I wasn't talking to them. One thing the cocky assholes had over me is that they made it easy for the girls. The guy who is already talking to you is the path of least resistance.

It worked out for me though. I discovered beer, broke out of my shell, and met a woman who has made an excellent wife for the better part of two decades. Still, as my son is reaching the age where the girls start favoring the dicks over the shy, nice boys, I find that some of the old hurt over those awkward years hasn't entirely gone away. But, I imagine everyone has scars from growing up of one kind or another. [/quote]

Yes, if you were shy and never talked to any of the girls you liked or asked them out, then they probably never realized that you liked them - THAT'S why they didn't go out with you not because they liked "assholes" instead of you.  I used to be shy, too (I'm a woman), it's tough to date when you're shy. But creating a story about nice guy vs. asshole jock is certainly a convenient reductionist way to blame women for your lack of dates.

As for why teenage girls might date "assholes" (certainly some do and some don't as has already been discussed ad nauseaum on this thread) - the same reason why anyone might date someone when they are young who turns out not to be right for them. We learn from experience - both personal and from seeing adult relationships modeled for us.  Sometimes it takes a while to break out of that - this goes for men and women in heterosexual and homosexual relationships.  Judging teenage girls for their relationship choices certainly falls into the "asshole" category.

If you are the OP, many of your responses seem to point to your making broad generalizations about the behavior of a large and diverse group of human beings and an attitude of disdain for women who date people who are not you or similar to you  - to me that points to an utter lack of respect for women.

Here's a great "nice guy" post that has a helpful flow chart at the bottom to identify if you really are a "nice guy": http://www.buzzfeed.com/katienotopoulos/nice-guys-on-okcupid-are-the-worst

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