Reply to More Attractive: Asshole Jock or Respectful Chess Nerd?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - I'm a little skeptical about the change of heart later in a woman's life. And the skepticism comes from a seed of doubt planted by the MRAs. Their contention is that women only pick "betas" (which I assume approximates the shy, smart guys) after their looks are starting to decline, their choices in men are or will soon become more limited, and their interest shifts from sexual attraction to more pragmatic concerns about long term loyalty and resources. In other words, "betas" only stand a chance when sexual attraction becomes a woman's secondary concern. [/quote]

I don't know what "MRA" means OP, but you're not reading the posts here.  Also not sure what you mean by "beta" either.

Most of us are saying we started to shift our attractions in our 20s.  I don't know what women you know, but my looks were only getting better and better through my 20s and 30s!  It's called growing up, not "running out of options".  The healthy women date the self-centered, power-hungry, appearance-obsessed guys in their teens or 20s and guess what?  They make shitty boyfriends.  Why is that rocket science?  Then you realize that you have more fun and would rather spend a meal, a day, or a week with that quieter guy who's actually much funnier and much smarter.  And then you find out he can f*ck too!!!  Maybe even much much better than the alpha-male jock!

Obviously you're looking at this through your own experiences OP, and since no one but you here knows what those are, no one can really address this dynamic from your perspective, but I guess what I'm saying is... individual guys also have their strengths and weaknesses.  Some nerds still have chicks all over them.  Some jocks only get the most desperate cheerleader wannabes because *everyone* can see they're losers.  But just because a particular nerd never got "seen" or dated, doesn't mean that all the women who didn't choose him only had obnoxious, selfish jocks to choose over that nerd and chose that instead.  There are so many shades of grey on that, and I'm not even talking sex.

So you can be skeptical all you want... this isn't about women only "shifting their attractions as a reproduction/survival response".  This is about dating guys who look good on the outside, but then you realize why those characteristics often lead to a crappy boyfriend.  Live and learn.  Then you start to notice how it's actually cooler when guys are fun to be with, and yes, you start to realize why those guys are actually cute too!

By the way, just to prove it can really be about ACTUAL evolution (and not desperation), when I went to my 20th high school reunion and we ladies were looking over our yearbook, there was almost universal agreement on how hot a few guys were who we thought were weird, and eccentric, and nerdy when we were in high school, but looking at them now they actually looked SUPER HOT!  Seriously, and there was no gain for any of us to see them that way because none of us know them now.  But we were like "OOh, remember when he used to wear those reggae t-shirts?"  or "he was so quiet but he was SO funny and look how cute he was, how did we not notice him then??"

Taste change and mature.  There's a reason I never liked red wine until well after graduate school, and love it now... ;)[/quote]

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