Reply to Setting firm boundaries with someone who's abusive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I need to let go of this everlasting hope that he will take responsibility. It's surprisingly difficult.

I talked to his sister today. She says I need to accept the responsibility for my part. He's been taught this behavior is ok for a very long time. I told her asking him to stop the abuse will never again be on a contingency plan. This is their issue. [/quote]

OP -PP here.

Was he really always like this? How long have you been married?

I am struggling to figure out if that makes a difference. Im wondering if his behavior was an inevitable consequence of his childhood, and possibly anxiety and depression that he had BACK THEN that went undiagnosed, OR, if this really came on with _extreme_ stress, including chronic back pain and a failing career during the recession.

I think it would make a difference to me to understand how these things relate. I just wish I understood how broken he really is. He had have moments of clarity in which he appeared to see, but when the depression kicked in full swing, he saw nothing. And still after over a year of treatment he sees nothing. He does not respond to therapy. All of our therapists throw their hands up in the air. His new psychiatrist may offer some hope. I think I need to tell her what is going on in more detail. I dont know anymore.[/quote]

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