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[quote=Anonymous]Scapegoating of this sort is far more common that you might realize. The above link provided by a PP is pretty accurate and helpful. It would probably be worth talking to a therapist to work through the painful feelings about it. It may never change, and it's a very painful thing, and it'd be good to get some family theory perspective on what's going on, and some tips for how to move on with your life.

Most of the time the scapegoat is either the weakest (or perceived as weakest) child in the family, and/or the one who refuses to fall in line with whatever family facade is at play. I know how painful this can be because I'm going through it right now too. I was actually the "golden child" for my whole life, the one who could do no wrong, who everyone enjoyed and admired. Then I had a baby, experienced some serious post partum depression, was no longer my confident go-to self, and the previous scapegoat/black sheep family member happened to be doing better than she ever had, and she and I basically traded places. Neither one of us could believe it, and both of us laugh about it. We're the only ones (of five kids) who "get it", because we're the only ones who've been in the disfavored role. Anyway it sucks so much and I'm really sorry. Bottom line is to protect yourself from them however you need to, and to nurture yourself and create your own friend/family network outside of your blood relatives, who may always treat you like shit (I'm sorry to say). The goal is to stop caring what they do and think. I haven't remotely reached this goal yet, but I have come a long way and am going to keep working on myself.

I think the conversation with your dad was perfect. Honest without being overly emotional and playing into whatever drama they may be trying to create. [/quote]

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