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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not the other PP but there are ways to convey you don't trust the situation without explicitly saying "I don't trust you"

Mom:  No, you can't go to Brenda's if her parents aren't there
Son:  Why?  Don't you trust me?  
Mom:  It isn't that I don't trust YOU, I just know the situation can easily go to a place that is not acceptable to me.  
son: but I haven't done anything to make you not trust me and what will happen!  
Mom:  You're right, but I don't trust the situation.  Sorry kiddo, not happening

I just don't agree with telling your kid you don't trust them.  My mom did this and at some point ( I think it was around 16-17) I pretty much said fuck it, she's not going to trust me anyways even if I'm not doing anything, so I might as well just do what I want since it won't make a difference! [/quote]

I'm the PP.  Just to be clear- we trust our son and his girlfriend in many situations.  Unsupervised in the basement watching a movie, going for walks, drop them off at the mall for a couple hours, and I'm 90% sure he'll drive her to dinner and prom next month.  I see what you're saying about trusting "the situation" but that's a bit like splitting hairs.  You can parse words all you want but if you don't [b]treat[/b] your kids with respect it doesn't really matter what words you use.

So back to the OP's situation, I don't see a problem essentially saying [i]You're a safe driver, you haven't gotten in an accident yet, but you're a new driver and I don't fully trust you yet[/i].

And you're absolutely right- eventually kids are going to say "fuck it" and do whatever they want.  Although the number of DCUM folks who are convinced it won't be [b]their kid[/b] is truly amazing.[/quote]

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