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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]BTDT

If her boyfriend seems "normal" he's actually not. His true colors will show in marriage or after having kids.

Agree with PPs, RUN[/quote]

This.  Has your sister lived with this guy?  Honestly, you don't know someone until you live with them.  And you'd be amazed at how long a BF can be on his best behavior while dating.

Living together, though, it is impossible to be on best behavior 24/7.  And that's usually when a person's true colors come through.

I had an ex-boyfriend who I thought was fabulous, but his family was obnoxious.  We moved in together, and then I realized that he was obnoxious, too.  He was just always on his best behavior when we dated.  It wasn't until he got comfortable in a living situation that all of the other stuff came out.

I realized then how important it was to live with someone before making a lifelong commitment.  People are products of their upbringing.  Even if people don't turn out like their parents, if their family is dysfunctional, there is usually some residue of that left over.  That doesn't mean a relationship can't work, but it does mean that you should be aware of what you are getting into.  In some cases, the person is aware of their family's dysfunction, sometimes acutely aware, and has gone through therapy or taken steps to mitigate the effects.

But if someone isn't even willing to admit the dysfunction, then that's a red flag.

In any case, you really don't know the full deal until you live with a person.

And it is a big deal if you hate the inlaws, because even if the BF is willing to limit interaction with them now, once children are involved, that usually changes.  It will always be a point of contention.

It's rare that a person finds a perfect situation where they love their inlaws, but if you absolutely can't tolerate the inlaws, that's just too much.  [/quote]

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