Reply to Husband needs to be paid more -- how do I convince him?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is one of the harshest group of responses I have seen on here in awhile.  Lay off the OP already and give her some advice.

My take is that your husband lacks the confidence to find a new job.  He is probably nervous about the idea of interviewing, putting himself out there, etc.  I agree with others that advise you to communicate more.  Have a budgeting meeting and talk about where your money is going and then perhaps work with him on his resume, looking for jobs, etc.  Maybe he would feel more comfortable if you worked the job search as a team.

Good luck OP, and congrats on the new baby!
[/quote]

Agree completely.  I"m so surprised at the negative replies here.  Particularly that she was irresponsible for getting pregnant?  Yikes.  OP, I hope you are able to tune some of this out.

I agree with all the suggestions about communication and supporting your husband, trying to dig in to the root of the issue here.  My husband is totally underpaid for his work and it drives me bananas, not b/c we need more, but because of the message it sends to him - he is undervalued by his firm and he undervalues himself.  He has major confidence issues when it comes to seeking raises, job searching, etc.  In addition, he grew up in the south with very very cheap cost of living and parents with lower middle class incomes, so this has distorted his perspective and he thinks he is making TONS of money by comparison.  It's very hard to look him in the eye and say "yes, you are making more money than your dad, but your dad was in a different field, in a different city, in a different era.  and for what you do, where you live, you are totally underpaid."  I haven't been that blunt with him b/c it's so hard to say and I don't want him to feel critisized. [b] I just want him to know that he deserves more for what he does, how good he is, how hard he works, etc.[/b]

Anyway, that was a bit tangential, but just to say that i read OP's scenario as having far more to do with your husband's personal confidence, perspective, wishes, etc.  and nothing to do with OP's responsibility for having a kid  or superficial quest for money.  [/quote]

PP, that's how you say it, that was nice. OP, read that -- make it about him being valued for everything he does PLUS looking at what the TEAM needs and how everyone on the team can make that happen. Don't let pregnancy hormones and baby jitters cause you to run your mouth and mess up your marriage.[/quote]

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