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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am in this situation and married a really great guy who understands but is still very very close with his family. My life was terrible for the first five years and I cried every night because my husband didn't know how to handle the situation. He either didn't hear how offensive his mother is or has gotten use to his brother and his family so he doesn't see the same thing I saw or heard. His family blames me all the time. They even ganged up on me from time to time. It got really hard to the point that we were going to divorce, although it wasn't him, he refused or saw no reason to move further. Now we have children and my kids get rude and offensive behavior from their cousins (brother in law's dc). My suggestion is if you don't have thick skin, please don't marry him. Trust me I have really really thick skin and it was a nightmare. Now, I just don't say anything around them and hope they don't acknowledge me. I get very very anxious when I have to see my in-laws and eat a bucketful of ice cream after my visit. I also think about the time spent with them the next couple of days and wished I was around different ppl I liked iwth my time. The resentment also builds towards my husband.[/quote]

You know what? You don't have to see them.  Your husband can take the kids to see his family members without you.

I hate my ILs. My husband hates his ILs.  I take the kids to see my mother without him. He takes the kids to see his parents without me. We both enjoy the time off.

You can also tell your kids to straighten up. Just because their cousins act a particular way doesn't mean they get to act that way. You're their mother and they're not acting that way in your house.  Those kids are taking orders from an entirely different general. [/quote]

+1. You really can choose how to spend your time. It's all you really have that's truly yours. Your ILs don't want you there anyway.  Let your DH go with the kids by himself. [/quote]

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