Reply to Why do people get so up in arms about something that doesn't impact them? Vent about mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is likely only the tip of the iceberg. [b]Expect more issues when you are married and expect it to compound if you have children[/b]. Might be a good chance to set boundaries now before she ruins your marriage.  It is your mother, so the load falls on you to set boundaries and expectations so that she does not become a cancer in your family life.

Some of the PPs gave some good coping mechanisms for the phone, you also just have to adjust your expectations. Setting boundaries will be tough, but better now than when things get tough or after she has become accustomed to treating you this way.[/quote]

+1 - coming from other side here.  My mom went nuts about a lot of the minutae of my wedding.  The color of the ribbons on the favors, the color of the bouquet I carried, my shoes.  I told her that she had to stop being super critical, and she did, but her reason was that she thought I was being oversensitive.  She didn't understand that she was in the wrong.  Fast forward 8 years - DH and I have a baby now and HOLY SHIT did it get worse.  Her concept of boundaries is so poor that I've had to hang up on her many times, break plans to see her, etc., and tell her it's because of her behavior.  Get ready to have problems if you decide to have a child.  Establish boundaries now. [/quote]

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