Reply to Need a new perspective on problem with in-laws (long, sorry)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it was probably unreasonable to leave three small kids, one being a baby, with an elderly couple for an entire week.

They were probably overwhelmed, tired, exhausted, frustrated.  Having said that, they should get over it.

Did it not occur to you that it might be too much for them?  Also, what is your husband's take on this since it's his father.[/quote]

They arent elderly - they are 62 and 51.

DH is upset too, but he is more inclined to fight back to show how we did make it easy and did warn them about accidents, etc while I am trying to figure out the best approach to move forward. I dont care about being right, I just want to have a good relationship.[/quote]

I don't understand why you didn't just make your kids wear pull-ups to bed instead of "warning" them about the accidents. They probably didn't take your warnings that seriously and things spiraled out of control from there.

I don't agree with their attitude toward it since they did accept the responsibility, but don't fight back - that's just creating more unnecessary drama. Bottom line, they did you a favor and it sounds like a misunderstanding, so no need to prove anyone was right or wrong. They're probably just tired and cranky, as others have said, and they'll eventually get over it.[/quote]

OP mentioned hiring a mother's helper and that the baby was dropped off with the nanny at her own home daily. The 3 went to the MIL house from after school until 7pm at which time they were all shuttled to FIL/wife with a strict bedtime of 7:30 pm.  Wife was late for work and FIL/wife might have had to reduce work commitments.  They are not retired.  The kids were most likely off since they had the shuttle.  MIL got the premade meals.  Bedwetters with no pull-ups. Teething baby.

Which of the 3 households had the mother's helper and why didn't the kids just stay in OP's house with the nanny and all grandparents just rotate on dropping in for the evening and dinner with the kids?  [/quote]

Not that it really matters but kids went home after school and MIL stayed with them here and gave them dinner and got them ready for bed and then dropped them at FIL just to sleep. In the morning, they dropped baby back at home where the nanny watches him (not at nanny's home). Mother's helper was for MIL from 4-7, figuring FIL + wife could take care of them from 7-7:30 (not a strict bedtime, just a general guideline) when they went to sleep. They only had to give the kids breakfast (cereal and milk, which I provided).

Other than being late for work that one day, they didnt have to reduce any other work commitments that I know about and I am sure they would have mentioned it. [/quote]

Oh gosh, that all kind of sounds like a nightmare logistically. I'm not surprised it feel apart. OP, it doesn't seem like it was anyone's fault and it's obviously a situation that should be avoided moving forward. I hope you are able to mend this relationship with FIL and his wife. [/quote]

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