Reply to Need a new perspective on problem with in-laws (long, sorry)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It might be a relationship issue  between FIL and MIL. Since he's so good with kids, and she's never had any, she might have felt inept and inadequate, and he (if he's a little old-fashioned) might have been a little disappointed in her lack of motherliness. If the experience caused them relationship issues, they are not going to tell you about it, but both will be resentful of it.

I'd say let it go and like a PP said, be the bigger person. And know in the future that they're not up to having the kids stay with them. (just for anyone else considering having someone watch the kids while they're on vacation---  I would have tried harder to persuade them to stay at your house. It would have been SO much easier for the kids, and thus for them also.)[/quote]

OP here

I think this is part of it. Although she is generally wonderful to us, FIL's wife was totally overwhelmed (i.e. calling me at 5am on vacation and saying "You need to make other arrangements for the baby") and he might be caught in a tight spot between her and us where he feels like he has to support her.  He didnt even know that she called me and said that the baby had actually slept right through the night and he wasnt sure why she was so upset. She also got sick while we were away and was late to work one day bc carpool was late.

I tend to be a problem-fixer, so giving people space is not my strongest skill but I will try. 
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