Reply to If you are a MIL, what do you think of your DIL? How to have good relationship?

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Reply to "If you are a MIL, what do you think of your DIL? How to have good relationship?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a MIL x 2!  I adore both of my daughters-in-law.  I think they are beautiful (both inside and out), smart, caring, and very good to my sons.  I think of them as daughters.

The mother who cannot step aside and accept the fact that she is no longer the most important person in her son's life will never be good MIL.

The wife who cannot show love and respect towards the women who gave birth to and raised the man she chose to marry will never be a good DIL.

I have never had a cross word with either of my daughters in law.  Similarly, my MIL and I have always had a great relationship.  I find the notion that MILs and DILs can't get along ridiculous.  But then again, I think marriage should be left to those mature enough to manage adult relationships.

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Another MIL here.  This! [/quote]

DIL here.  I would do a lot to be around a secure, positive, happy, involved, accomplished MIL - without a chip on her shoulder -  like you.  My MIL is depressed, smug and snarky and does not enjoy much in life.  She feels someone, somehow "wronged" her.  She does *not* get a free pass, because she deflects on me, like a bully.  I call her on her negatives behaviors, which she of course is not used to.  Too bad, I say. She brings out the worst in me.  90% of the time she is pushing boundaries and just trying to be rude, and 90% of the time with her, I end up pretending she is not saying anything, when she is being most offensive.

We don't see her often, but without me saying or doing anything, my mere presence seems to upset her.  As if she is reminded of how different we are, and instead of celebrating our differences, she takes it as a personal affront.  Everything is about her - especially if it is about someone else (wedding, funeral, and the like).  Can you only imagine?

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