Reply to Black preschoolers more likely to face suspension

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Cosby Show doctor lawyer parents here, very active, involved, and teach our kids to be respectful.  Our child is the only black one in a majority Asian preschool class of 8 students....all boys except for one girl.  He is also gigantic compared to his classmates in size and is quite clumsy.  All the boys in the class like to play rough, are high energy, fight over toys and have behavior issues that are not developmentally unusual for 3 and 4 yr old boys.  The teacher tends to be diplomatic and pulls the parents of all the boys that were not on best behavior aside at pickup to let them know the days incidents.  My son is just one of most in the class that gets these reports.   She says he never does anything intentionally but he is just not aware of his space and often accidently knocks someone down or flails his arms about and hits someone.   She says he is very apologetic and remorseful.  However, the teachers aide is Asian and tends to gloss over what the other boys have done and just says "he hit X or hurt Y today".  I have to probe to find out that it was typically accidental not intentional.   Before I realized the prejudice, I was punishing my child by denying privileges and taking away things he enjoyed  which I would not have done for knocking someone over accidently while dancing too wildly in class during dance time.   I started to notice how this aide would happily greet the other boys and not greet mine in the morning.   I have seen her in action on field trips glossing over things the other boys do.  I hate when this aide is left in charge when the teacher has to be out because suddenly my son is the only troublemaker on those days.   One day she told me he spit and I was livid at him (before I figured this aide out).  Well it turns out that he did not spit but had been making a noise by holding lips together and blowing that he thought was hilarious.   A behavior he actually learned from another boy in class. I have learned to ignore her constant reports.   The teacher (white) has even mentioned that the aide often blows things out of proportion.   I say all this to say that if left to that aides reports...my preschooler could have been one of those suspended or kicked out...for incidents that did not rise to the level that she made them seem to be.   I can see how it can happen.  I just had no idea that I had to worry about such things at a preschool level.   We were sweating bullets about the teacher recommendation when applying to private schools but it turned out fine....thankfully the aide didn't write the report.   Does she treat my son different because of color?   I do not know, but all I know is that he is treated differently when it comes to behavior issues.   Are there parents out there that do not model good behavior, let TV babysit their kid instead of spending time with them! that do not correct bad behavior and consider it amusing, that do not call their kid out when they are in the wrong and always blame others? I am sure there are...but I do not know any of those people in my self selected social circle of black folks...perhaps we would encounter more of them upon entering my zoned elementary school....I am sure we would which is one reason why we applied for private to select a peer group that has a higher rate of parents with similar values.
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Really glad you posted this. What is being described here is what is causing concern when we see the disproportionality in suspension rates. I know other PPs have asked "well did the account for the behavior" but the reality is that it would be impossible in a huge data collection project like this to track the specific behaviors prompted the suspension. Also, it still wouldn't get at the answer. In the example giving above, if the aide was reporting the bad behavior, it would be categorized as "spitting" when the reality is that something else was going on. If two boys shove each other, is that rough-housing, or assault?  The concern is that what is happening is in some ways very subtle, like quoted person above describes. Not that AA boy in question did *nothing* wrong, but that whereas a similar boy doing  a similar behavior might get a lesser punishment, the African American male student seems to more often get the harsher punishment. That it's happening as early as preschool and early elementary is extremely problematic, as is setting up a real negative reinforcement loop.[/quote]

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