Reply to How to Tell my Mom to Stop Sending my DS Money

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "How to Tell my Mom to Stop Sending my DS Money"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They're both adults. There is not much you can do. [/quote]

This. It's their relationship.

I've got a college fund saved for my nephew. It never crossed my mind that my brother might have problems with me giving cash to my nephew.  I know many, many grandparents who contribute to their grand kids college. The way your mom is doing it is a little unusual, but it's still really nice. You could talk to your son about saving part or all of it as a nest egg for starting a career or buying a house, though.[/quote]

From a parent's point of view, depending on the circumstances, it is problematic for a teen/college student to receive cash and it can clash with a parent's objectives.  My son (a college freshman) is a spendthrift despite our many discussions, explanations about budgeting, etc., and therefore our approach with him is to let him run out of the money he earned over the summers (he is very close) so that he can experience the effects.  We will then expect him to do without (his basic expenses are covered), or we may consider giving him some minimal amount.  If a relative came in and rescued him, it would counteract what we are trying to accomplish, i.e. let him experience the effects of overspending firsthand in a meaningful way while the stakes are still low.

Another example:  I have a nephew who has a drug and alcohol problem.  His parents are on it in various ways, but part of the issue is spending money (he spends it all on pot and alcohol).  Therefore we give him gift cards, not cash, for birthdays, etc. (at his parents' request).

If the grandmother of OP's son must do something, she could put the money in an account for study abroad, a future major purchase, etc.  But bottom-line, [b]she should abide by the parents' wishes.[/b]  [/quote]

The parents are no longer the ultimate decision maker. The time to teach money skills is BEFORE your child becomes an adult and heads out on their own. If they are dependent on you and your money, then you can have a say about how it is spent and whether or not you will give more when the run out, but this is not OPs money. She doesn't get to decide how to spend it, nor can she decide whether her son will accept it. [/quote]

Sometimes things do not go according to plan.  None of has a time machine to try again.

If money is an issue and parents do not want their kid to have access to it, then that should be respected.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics