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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The man-hate is strong here.

OP- you said you work 7 days a week, right?  How much does he work?  You said he gets home at midnight but is up at 7 am for St. Alphonso's Pancake Breakfast. [b] Is he busting his ass 16 hours a day, 7 days a week?[/b]  Or does he sit around in boxers and a [i]ribbed white t-shirt[/i] complete with marinara stains complaining about the inadequacy of the flapjack situation?[/quote]

Does it matter? Even if he is busting his ass for 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, that doesn't give him the right to treat her like that.  My husband works long, hard hours. I let him sleep in on Saturdays and a sometimes I make him pancakes and eggs and bring him breakfast in bed.  And you know what he says? Thank you. Every time. Even when a pancake is a little raw on the inside or burnt on the outside or there are only 2.  Because that's what you say when someone tries to do something nice and thoughtful for you.

This is how my uncle used to treat my aunt, but it wasnt just about one breakfast. It was a pattern. Everything she did was wrong, not good enough. Even her kids called her fat and lazy and thought that was OK because that is what they learned from their dad.  She stayed in it for 23 years before leaving and she is so much happier now. I'm not saying leave over pancakes, but you deserve better than that. [/quote]

Of course it matters.  The example you cited for your aunt and uncle is a [b][i]pattern[/i][/b] of emotionally abusive behavior.  If this guy is getting by on 6 hours of sleep a night (home at midnight, up for breakfast at 7am) it is a bit different.  Maybe he had a bad day.  Maybe the mortgage is 2 months past due.  I don't know.  Does that make it [i][b]right[/b][/i] for him to say she's lazy?  Of course not.

But the OP's question, the title of the thread is "Breakfast issue or failed marriage".  If you're willing to say their marriage is failed and beyond repair over PANCAKES, then so be it.  Good luck to you.  Personally, I would like a little more info before throwing HIM under the bus.

Again- EVERYTHING your aunt did was wrong, not good enough.  This guy gets home from work at MIDNIGHT and is up a SEVEN and makes a rude, condescending, hurtful comment.  Clearly the issue isn't about pancakes.  Maybe [i][b]they both[/b][/i] deserve better.   [/quote]

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