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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. I really can never understand why there are so many people on DCUM who have nothing but nasty comments. You all do realize that there are people in the world (and in DC) who are exceptionally intelligent, right? And you also realize that their parents have to try to help them grow up well just like any other parent, in ways that are sensitive to their particular abilities and needs. So, even if I turn out to be wrong about my own child's abilities, the discussion I tried to start would be pertinent to and useful for some parents in DC. So it makes no difference whether I'm right about my own kind for purposes of this discussion. To call me arrogant, though, is really rich. Those comments are laced with condescension, whereas I was quite clearly asking for guidance on how to raise a kid who's *not* arrogant but rather comfortable in her own skin and good at getting along with others, while still being intellectually stimulated.  If you post a question or comment like mine on DCUM, you get shredded for being an arrogant jerk; if you posted such a question or comment as well as a request to please not descend to a bunch of lame and nasty comments about whether I'm an arrogant jerk, as I tried to request here, you end up getting shredded for being an arrogant jerk who dared to make such a request.

Anyway, I really appreciate the posters who gave thoughtful answers to my question. [/quote]

I'm the poster from above that has two profoundly gifted DDs.  We haven't told them that, and rarely if ever discuss how smart they are; we instead reward (emotionally etc) effort and self-reliance in a big way.  That's largely because I grew up with similar talent, but my parents divorced and both routinely made me feel good about myself for cleverness rather than effort.  I skated through high school and then got absolutely crushed my first year in college . . . it took a while for me to figure out (emotionally, not intellectually) that regardless of how bright I or my kids might be, we will do better in our lives if we work hard and behave in a generally disciplined way.  Really gifted kids present their own challenges and your questions are fair; I was bored in middle school and started smoking pot at 12.  I ended up just fine, but I was at risk for making some pretty bad decisions.  I would have done better, I think, in a private school with rather more individual attention.

Ignore the snark.  There's a huge amount of cognitive dissonance with respect to parenting, and the anonymity of DCUM magnifies those tendencies.[/quote]

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