Reply to Private school vs paying for inlaws extended care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We recently had a "come to Jesus talk" with my (not healthy) inlaws and realize they have VERY little in savings.  Its somewhat of a surprise because they were both long working professionals who enjoyed an upper middle class lifestyle.  They simply did not save enough and also had a few bad property investments.  [b]Anyways during this family meeting we also realized we are the only ones (out of DHs siblings) who are willing to supplement the my inlaws income.  [/b]This comes right at a time where my kids are in middle school and we were planning on sending them to a private high school both DH and I are fond of (alumni) and our kids have interest in.  We are now wondering if the more responsible thing to do is send kids to public high school (decent school) and help inlaws out. (If it isn't clear my kids are currently in public and up until now had the plan of sending them to private high school)  I am not willing to dip into retirement or college contributions.  We were planning to pay for high school out of pocket but paying for in laws expenses and high school is not going to work (trust me I've redone our budget on paper about 6 different ways).  I love my inlaws and they are great grandparents and I do want to help.  Anyone been in this type of situation?  Suggestions or alternative ideas welcomed!  Their health is not good and we are working around estimated figures according to social workers and practitioners...its obviously only an estimate but we've been told a pretty realistic one. [/quote]

This is the part that got me... you have to make major changes to YOUR life/lives because no one else is [i]willing [/i]to help?!?  To me, that's bs.  Maybe (maybe) it would be a different story if no one else [i]could[/i], or if your help was the difference between your inlaws living destitute in the street or not,  but having everyone else in the scenario just not [i]wanting [/i]to take responsibility would really get to me.   I don't think it's at all fair that you'd be solely responsible for creating the idea situation.

There's got to be a happy medium somewhere.  Maybe you guys help out as much as you can while still sending your kids to private school, and the rest of the family combined makes up the difference?  Or your inlaws find a middle ground between their desired location and "the one they can afford"?  Maybe they get great care, but have to move farther away?

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and how do you propose to make other grown folks do something they do not want? OP is doing the smart thing which is not counting on anyone else's help and trying to plan what strategy is best to employ. stomping around mad and the unfairness of it all is totally useless.[/quote]

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