Reply to Does your spouse opt out of parenting responsibilities?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Sorry, PP, he still sounds like a kid (one who is good at setting up video games), albeit big enough to use power tools. The other thing that you seem to be willing to ignore (and, hey, you seem happier for it) is that the tasks you do for your kids are not optional (unlike, say, setting up the Minecraft server) and happen at regular and frequent intervals. Home improvement projects can wait (generally speaking), can be outsourced, and are not as important as getting your kid the right meds and seeing the doctor. Also, have you ever questioned why your husband is observant enough to fix small engines, but not observant enough to notice what kind of help your kid needs? [/quote]

List maker here.  I didn't say my DH didn't do things for the kids or doesn't notice what kind of help they need.  He does. It's only if I'm not able to make an appointment with one of the specialists that I make him a list - and if I weren't around, I have no doubt he'd do okay.  Not as good as me, but okay. He participates in their PT/OT/ST therapy sessions, he does the therapy with them at home.  He administers medication in the morning after I leave for work and before the kids go to school.  He makes breakfast every morning, makes sure one of them toilets (it's an issue) and gets them to school - all by himself.  I could insist he remember all the details when he goes to the specialist but then I'd probably get the same outcome as OP did.  Talk about being childish - knowing your DH isn't as good as you at something, having him do it anyway and then getting pissed when he doesn't do as well as you.

I get that it's a make or break thing for you and others.  As I said before, the package he brings is more than enough to accept what I see as a small weakness. And, his home improvement skills are critical to our financial stability.  Having SN kids isn't cheap and we are always prioritizing our outlays.  We not only save a lot of money because he's able to fix things, our quality of life is much better and we're able to have things we otherwise couldn't afford. He's also rigged adapted play/therapy equipment for the kids.  Most of the progress they've made is because we're able to work so much at home with them using what he's installed/built for them. I'm happy to keep writing those lists.

This is my last post.  I'm not looking to convince anyone my DH is 'worthy'.  I was just hoping to show you a different way of looking at things so that you have less frustration and more understanding.  Wishing you all the best.

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