Reply to How would you feel if your spouse spent thousands on your birthday gift?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know where you're coming from OP. Did you happen to grow up poorer than your husband? The reason I ask is I did and it makes me a bit crazy when my DH used to buy me expensive things.

For Christmas, my just graduated college daughter bought me what I thought was a really expensive bath set (the ones you see in beauty salons). I didn't open it because I thought it was too nice. Well, we were just in NYC over the weekend, and I saw that the whole set was only $7.95 even though it looked like $100 set. So, now I can enjoy it.

It might have something to do with subconscious self-worth OP.[/quote]

Op here. I grew up watching my shopaholic Sah stepmother squander a lot of my fathers money at the mall buying high end products none of us needed (or could really afford, though we all did fine). It was all just very wasteful. There were many many awful fights (and still are!) as a result of this. It ruined many gift giving occasions as they frequently became about what had been spent. None of the spending was on me but rather my half sister and herself. Occasionally my father, but she would buy him things he didn't need or want (cashmere Burberry sweater) with the money that he he worked for but was theirs.

I guess it's all deeper than it appears though I hadn't really thought about it until your post.[/quote]

Have you told this to your DH in the past?

I agree that you might benefit from therapy. Your husband spoiling you occasionally is an act of love. You associate spending lots of money with being selfish and wasteful, but that is unusual. And frankly, it seems you might not consider yourself worth extravagant gifts.

I get where you are coming from. Really. I am a SAHM. I buy what I consider thoughtful and expensive gifts for my husband. But he buys me outrageously pricey jewelry every Christmas and birthday. It hurts his feelings if my main concern is the price. He thinks that I should wear jewelry that reflects how valued and cherished I am by him. It is not how I was raised, but I have learned to deal with it. :)

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I don't think OP needs therapy,  my goodness. I know most who post on here probably don't understand that thousands of dollars on a gift that wasn't wanted or needed is ott but try to have some perspective. [/quote]

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