Reply to I think my DS is gay, maybe even transgender

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- you sound great.  I have no idea if your son is gay or transgender.  Only time will tell.  And, in all likelihood, if he is either, he will identify as something completely different by the time it becomes relevant.  As a member of the queer community, things are quickly changing in terms of identifiers and nomenclature that people choose for themselves on that front.  As for the logistics, and I say this with a ton of experience, you are on the right track.  You are aware that something could be going on that has broader repercussions and you are attuned to it.  You love him and allow him to be himself and that is such a huge part of the battle for GLBTQ youth.  Again, I acknowledge that he may not be an GLBTQ youth but, just in case, you are just awesome for wanting to make sure that he is "covered" with regards to issues related to bullying, etc.  I do not know where you live or how progressive your elementary school or your school system is but, depending on how this goes, you will want to keep in mind issues related to bathroom usage, name calling, curriculum inclusion, etc.  I know that some conservative people following this thread will probably jump down my throat at that last one but, realistically, it does make a huge difference to kids who are gender variant (term that could mean anything from transgender to playing with the "opposite gender toys" at this point in his development) to have authority figures throw in random facts like, "boys can wear skirts if that is what they feel most comfortable with wearing."  Again, I know some people will freak out at this idea but I hail from the West Coast and, well, the environment is just a lot different for these kids depending on where you are specifically.  Anyway, I do not want to generalize about your son since everyone is different and comes to an AHA! moment at different times.  I would say to take the watch and see approach while arming yourself with resources.  Here are a few to get you started:

https://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/resources-on-gender-variance-in-children
http://www.childrensnational.org/DepartmentsandPrograms/default.aspx?Id=6178&Type=Program&Name=Gender%20and%20Sexuality%20Psychosocial%20Programs#__utma=149406063.1187537227.1392045974.1392045974.1392045974.1&__utmb=149406063.1.10.1392045974&__utmc=149406063&__utmx=-&__utmz=149406063.1392045974.1.1.utmcsr=google|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=238998912

And, if it were one of my kids, I would probably connect with a good psychologist who specializes in these issues and, if you can afford it, start taking him regularly (maybe once a month) so that you have a sounding board as this plays itself out.  Depending on where your son might take you, you may have to consider stopping male puberty, etc.  I don't want to get ahead of things in this regard since he is still so young but, you know, some people know this early on and some people have absolutely no clue.  And some, just grow out of it.  Seven is kind of magical that way!

Lastly, keep loving him like you are!  Parental love and support really can conquer all of the other bs that queer people have to deal with as they figure out how to stand tall in the world.  Oh, and, who gives a crap about having a strong dude around, this is about your little dude?! and no "man in his life" is going to change who he was born to become.  With the exception, of course, of one that decides to try to beat it out of him (which I imagine some of these awful people on here would support) which will only delay the process or make him extremely depressed/vulnerable.[/quote]

Re: your last paragraph, last sentence, that is your own bias. No one in their right mind would support a man "beating" a child in this way. But perhaps proper male love in his life (e.g. a father) could help him. (And I'm sure you'll misshape that statement as well.)[/quote]

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