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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it is a very hard decision. I would say that 42 is about the top for having a first child. You can check the thread am I too old old to have a baby at 41? and hear lots of opinions. What I notice about that is most of the posters are talking about having a baby or toddler. You are still a parent of young kids when your are in yours 50s. It is very hard. Your body slows down, you may have a health issue, your parents need care, college and retirement at the same time. Our financial security just went up in smoke of child care issues -- which are large and do not end with preschool-nanny. Those issues are real. Age is NOT just a number -- I wish it were!

[b]One thing that is very hard is as you reach your mid 50s and early 60s, you are so out of touch with your contemporaries, who have already passed through HS, empty nest, college, and are facing the latter decades of life. The parents of your kids, who are your new contemporaries are in a very different place -- their 40s. Full of pep and at the height of their careers. It can be lonely that way.[/b]As for adopting a pair of older kids... wow, think before you leap. We too, had a very hard and long road through infertility, and we knew several people who adopted older children. If you thought infertility was a bear. It made us with a baby seem like a piece of cake. I love my late in life baby, now in MS, more than anything, but it is very very different than having them when you are young.[/quote]

Yes. Yes. Yes.[/quote]

I'd say it depends.  I have at least 6 very close friends my age who had babies anywhere from 35-44 (my kids were all born when I was in that range).  Other good friends I've made since having kids are maybe 3-4 years younger than I am, not enough to feel like it's a gulf.

If I had stayed in my midwestern hometown, then I'd say yes, this is the case.  But around the DC area it's been a mix and truly hasn't been a problem.  And to be honest, many people whom I've met since my kids were born actually think I'm much younger than I am.  My parents used to say kids made them young, and I guess I feel like it's the same for me.[/quote]

Yes, we always want to believe that everyone thinks we're younger than we really are  :) [/quote]
And much cooler, too.[/quote]

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