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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you call the other parents you will guarantee that your DD will face more bullying and will be ostracized from by these girls in the future.  They may be friends she should say goodbye to, but not in a big dramatic fashion that will make the gossip rounds of the school.  If OP does this, the victim will be her daughter.

Her daughter has to learnt o confront these girls herself, hard that that may be.  She needs to tell them how she felt about this and that it wasn't OK.  Then she has to decide if these other girls screwed up this one time or if they are just bad friends.  And no more threesome sleepovers.

But please don't make this go nuclear by bringing in the other parents.  The one time I spoke with another parent about her child's behavior my daughter was furious with me because it just made things worse.  At this age, the kids need to learn how to resolve things.[/quote]

As a middle school counselor, I agree with this poster.  I have seen it happen too many times where parents intervene and it backfires and things get worse for the "victim" (by the way, it does not fit definition of bullying, as it only happened once, but could escalate into bullying depending upon how things are handled).  OP should absolutely validate her daughter's feelings, but let her problem solve this one.  Together, I'd help her determine what type of qualities she is looking for in a friend and whether these girls are "friends.". If she tells them that what they did upset her and they feel remorseful and try to prove it to her, then maybe they are good friends who just made a bad choice.  [/quote]

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