Reply to 3 savings accounts for DC, why would GP want to open another one?

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Reply to "3 savings accounts for DC, why would GP want to open another one?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DC is a baby, the checking account was opened with the savings. I hear you all about it being their money. I do. [b]It's just, my folks paid for my college, which seems nice, and it is. They just keep telling me that I owe them now. Like they now own me.[/b] And I don't want that hanging over DCs head. Is rather everyone just put money into one account and not feel like one set of GP gave more or whatever... But I'm probably bring stubborn. Sorry.[/quote]

This is the very reason you don't want them to mix THEIR MONEY WITH YOURS. If they want to act an ass later on, you don't have to worry about going into YOUR account to get THEIR money out and give it back to them. It's their account they can save in it, withdraw from it, give it to Yoda if they want. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT!!![/quote]

I would look at it the opposite way. If they GIVE money to OP to use for the grandkids, at that point they no longer control it - it's a gift and it loses its identity when co-mingled with all OP's other assets or the GKs assets. However, if they want a distinct account that they control (esp a bank account, not a 529), they aren't really giving anything, because they retain control - they are merely say "here is some money we might give your kid if he/she/you do xxx". Separate accounts allow they to expert control. That's fine - it's their money - but that's different than a gift and far less helpful.[/quote]

No, the point is if OP accepts the gift and takes the money, then the grandparents have a sense of entitlement and can emotionally manipulate them.  Once you take the money, even if you try to give the money back, they can refuse and still emotionally blackmail you.  However, if you refuse the money, they never have any such control because they've never given the money over.  If you accept the money but allow them to keep it in a bank of their own, then later, if they try the emotional blackmail, you can refuse it "I'm not going to do what you want, so why don't you just keep your money!" and then they still have never given the money to you.

OP--I would accept the money, let them keep it, but do NOT give them your children's SSN's.  Tell them that they can just keep the account for the grandkids until they are older.  If they try to attach strings later, then tell them to keep the money as you don't want to deal with the strings.  You can also talk about the issues when you kids are teens and let the kids decide if they want to kowtow to the grandparents demands, leaving yourself and your children the option to cut the strings later and refuse the emotional blackmail. [/quote]

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