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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think it's unreasonable to sit down with a list of things, as long as it's clear that EVERYONE is getting assigned things from that list. As for his argument that it's too rigid, if things are not getting done, then the current system is NOT working. When I was home with the kid (6 months of maternity leave, plus back to work part time for a while), we had an understanding that the house couldn't turn into a hell hole. Laundry was 100% my problem, no matter whose it was.  Grocery shopping we sometimes did together, but I did almost all the cooking except weekend breakfasts, which DH wanted to do himself, and grilling, which I am completely inept at. Cleaning up kitchen messes was the business of whoever made them, unless the other person was being generous. I also didn't consider &quot;being home with DD&quot; to be my full time job, such that I had to do all child stuff even when DH returned from work. That said, when I was home with her, she was &lt;6 months old and breastfed, so a lot of the after hours child stuff fell to me anyway.

It is honestly not that difficult to keep up with groceries, meal preparation and cleaning when you have one young child and one adult who is home with that child all the time. If your husband is having trouble managing that, he might not be cut out for this sort of work and should find a job doing something he's better at. Daycare is expensive, obviously, but there are couples (myself and DH included) who have one adult who works a job that barely covers the daycare bills because it was worth it to avoid the emotional toll on our relationship of how miserable I was staying home and what a pain that made me to be around.[/quote]

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