Reply to Would you ever let the fact that your kids don't want to move keep you from moving?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We moved around a lot when I was a kid. I will not do that to my children.
Sure I coped, I had no choice.

I love that our house has the children's height measurements notched in the doorway. I love how regularly the kids want to see if they've grown, or if they're as tall as sibling was at a particular time. It's goofy, but it's a tangible symbol of place that I never had when I was a kid.

I would only move if there were no other option or if the family as a unit agreed it was the right choice.[/quote]

Military family here that has lived in 9 houses with kids and 12 houses total.

We have a measuring stick.it is a long, flat piece of wood that we painted and decorated. We mark the kids' growth on that every year on their birthdays. It goes with us in the car every time we move., [/quote]

I think that's a great idea. There are all sorts of ways to lessen the difficulty of moving. But that's just it - you're trying to minimize the difficulty. My parents (mostly) had no choice, because the job moved us. My father could have chosen a different job, and to be honest I think that would have been wise. Introverted children being uprooted constantly is just extremely difficult. The idea that you'll easily make new friends wherever you go is laughable. Sometimes you move to areas where other children are also transplants and that can be easier than moving to an area where everyone's known each other since kindergarten, but it's still difficult. Moving in the middle of an Eagle project likely means it never gets restarted. Moving during a difficult patch in piano lessons can mean you never regain your mojo. Almost every school system required a new round of testing to "appropriately" place us, even though they had our complete records. It just gets old after awhile. Not to say there isn't value - I gained a lot from the moves as well. Overall, however, I view the experience of moving throughout my childhood as a negative, and I'll work to protect my children from those negative experiences. I knew plenty of military kids and many of them did not feel as hurt by the experience as I did. They had benefits I did not - military families tended to run into each other over different postings, they tended to go to school with clumps of other military kids so they rarely moved to a place where new kids were rare. I think extroverts likely also have an easier time, but that's purely based on observation.

This thread starting with a situation where the children would remain in their schools and I think that's much less difficult. But still, if the children don't wish to move, I wonder what the benefit would be of moving. Why don't the children wish to move? One of my children would hate to leave the easy walk to various places she loves, I think that could be mitigated by showing her what she could walk to at the new house. Another of my children has a favorite tree in our back yard. That might be harder to deal with as the tree is too large to move, but we could work on another resolution. Finding out what the children are drawn to can help everyone. Don't pretend moving is a choice if it's not. If you must move for whatever reason, you must. The children will cope. They're allowed to be excited and miserable at the same time. [/quote]

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