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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah, I think it's pretty unreasonable to declare the husband a controlling jerk for not wanting his wife to go back to school while they have two little kids. If my husband came to me with a plan like that, I'd be pretty upset. [/quote]

But if you were already making enough to support the family and didn't care if your DH worked or not, what would be the difference between him being in school and him having a job, other than the additional cost? What does having two little kids do with it--unless the objection is childcare cost?[/quote]

Leaving the workforce to care for your family is very different from leaving the workforce to pursue your personal interests and commit to even more time away from your family, which if you've already got a masters degree and are thinking of getting a different one - I'm inclined to consider it a recreational pursuit, often a timely one at that. I relate to OP's husband because my husband already has a marketable masters degree and he occasionally considers a PhD that would not increase his earning potential and would only open up doors for him if he were interested in academia, which he's not. So for him, it would be entirely recreational in nature. If he wants to pursue that in retirement, that's his business but in the mean time, I'm not going to shoulder the responsibilities of our family alone so he can take a 5 year hiatus from the life he's already chosen.

I've been the breadwinner while my husband was unemployed. DH did pick up more of the tasks at home to try to even out the work of running a household and caring for a family but it was still hard to find a balance that felt fair. It was hard to not be resentful and that was a situation in which it wasn't even his fault. Now if he *chose* to be not only out of the workforce but also out of the house 60-70+ hours a week while tending to an unnecessary additional graduate degree while I alone care for our kids, subsidize his ever-student lifestyle, and care for the home, I would definitely resent it.[/quote]

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