Reply to Are my twins too close? (long, sorry)

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Reply to "Are my twins too close? (long, sorry)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP can't tell from your post, but if this is their first year of school i would keep them together. as twin mom of fraternal girls we have kept them together so far for two years (switched schools so thought it would be a good transition). I think for identicals it is much harder because teachers treat them as interchangeable or a unit (I already see teachers do that with my fraternals who are very different). But give it time. We found that just being around other kids more for a year or two started a natural evolution.

One thing that helped us also was being sure to do things separately with the individual kids, it helps them to develop their own interests that they can identify with, then they're differentiating because they want to, not because someone is forcing them to. [/quote]

They are in Pre-K now, and it's their only year of preschool. According to what we see and what their teachers say, they always include others who are playing in the same area, visually check on each other when they're playing in different sections of the room, and verbally check in with each other when they won't be visable to the other ("I'm going to the bathroom" etc.). They often aim to sit at the same table for snack time, but if there's no more room one will sit at a different table without a problem (though again, checking in visually).

So far only one friend has ever invited only one. They truly could not understand why this would happen at first. Then the invited one didn't want to go because she felt the birthday child had been mean to her sister. We finally convinced her to go, and she had a good time for the two hours. Though as always when they reunited they hugged and "I missed you so much!" [/quote]

There are several problems with this, both for them and for their peers.  Not only do they need to learn to be individuals, but it also isn't fair to their classmates who have to deal with two of them at the same time.  For preschool children, some can feel inferior of intimidated by the combination of the twins.  It is better for many reasons to separate them, but you need to do so gradually so that they become accustomed to being without the other.  This is not something to do cold turkey, just separating them on the first day of school.[/quote]

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