Reply to Are my twins too close? (long, sorry)

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Reply to "Are my twins too close? (long, sorry)"

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[quote=Anonymous]Dad of fraternal twin boys who are close, although not as close as OP's.

OP, your twins are comforted by their proximity because it is safety and security being together.  It's what they know comforts them, so they accentuate the closeness and the bonding and in some ways have come to depend on it.  It is your job as their parent to help them develop their individuality and the ability to survive without the other because in the course of their lives they may have times when they have to split for various reasons, and they will need to be able to function without the other.  If you haven't been working on separating them regularly and for growing periods of time, put them together for school for the first year and then work on separating them periodically, then put them in separate classrooms the following year.  They should have individual time with Mom and Dad, starting with short periods, say a quick run to the store when one goes and the other stays home.  Increasing it slowly until you have them separate for most of a day, or maybe one goes to visit the grandparents for Saturday night one weekend and the other goes for Saturday night the next weekend.  They will still be bonded and comforted by each other.  But they will be able to function and enjoy life without each others so when life circumstances separate them, they will be able to cope.  One of the worst situations is where each twin will hold the other back in some way (say one is slightly more advanced academically, but will not push herself to achieve to avoid being separate from the twin, or one has an opportunity for something good like a trip, but will decline to stay with the twin, etc).

It is part of parental responsibility to help mature your children and with twins, teaching them to know and understand their individuality while still cherishing their "twinness" is part of that responsibility.  [/quote]

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