Reply to Another divorce or stick it out plea for advice

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Another divorce or stick it out plea for advice"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP wishing you the best of luck on your journey.  I'm normally very opinionated on DCUM but I am on the fence on this one.  I do agree that divorcing while the kids are younger is better than holding on bitterly and divorcing in junior high or later.  I have no answers just more questions for you.

Do you think you would do things differently with another guy or would sex drive and intimacy would still be issues?  Would you look for different things in a guy and relationship in terms of compatibility and be better at recognizing red flags?  I would want to make sure it's not a matter of the issues replicating in any relationship you have.

Not that this is a reason to keep DH around, but would you be happy if you divorced and never found anyone while DH remarried within a year?  I think you have to be able to make the decision based on it being that this isn't the right relationship for you, not on the premise that there is a better relationship.  You have to believe it is the right decision even if you don't find anyone else. If you do find someone else that would be gravy.

Where is DH on these things?  it sounds like there are some things you would like to change I.e. DH being so passive, the support he gives you at home (whether financial, how he spends money, division of labor).  You can't change anyone so is DH willing to change/meet you halfway or is he thinking he would rather be with someone that it was an easier fit?  Are you putting far more into keeping the relationship alive? Does he know you are thinking divorce since all the therapy doesn't seem to be helping?  Is he thinking there are things that he would like you to change and even if you say you will suck it up, he is very unhappy 5years from now and wants out?  You guys have to be on the same page regarding commitment either all in to giving it your best shot for X amount of time to see if it will improve or finding an amicable way out either now or at a pre-determined time.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics