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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks, 21:06, but what do you think we've been doing in counseling? I omitted much of the detail in the interest of not boring readers to death.

So for those interested - I agonized privately for a few months after things had come to a head (lying, spending more than he was contributing to household, being unreliable) because I know he's a good guy despite all of that and I hate to hurt him. I also tend to internalize rather than lash out. I went through a depressing time but am so glad I did - it forced me to connect with friends and family and pursue new interests, as I really wanted to make sure I was wholesomely healthy role model for DC. I have had a number of frank convos with H and asked him his version of relationship events. He agrees on intimacy issues and that things went south in that area around 2007 - a year before we were married. He's super passive, though, and has always always always waited for me to take the lead. That's what he's doing now. I thought his laid back approach was a nice match for my can-do attitude, but it's been exhausting and I'd just like him to have an opinion on our relationship for once.

This is so not black and white (what ever is?), and the main thing I'm struggling with is being kind and doing good by DC. H is a good guy. I try my hardest to be a good person too. It's so weird to me that it's possible for two nice folks to have a failed marriage.

OK I'm done here. Really. I am making a vow to return and offer support to those asking questions once I'm a bit further along in my journey. Thanks to all, and good luck with all things going on in your lives![/quote]

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